Disturbed Mind

May 23, 2016

To those who may be reading this:
    In this piece, I shall tell you how mad I truly am. Though I would never act on them, I often play out how I would kill certain people in my head. Most of them are quick, but for those anger me, I imagine just dissecting them. The fucked up part about it is that I know exactly how to do it too. Just like how forensic pathologists can. However, I would keep them alive through the whole process.
   
       Please understand that I would never act upon such torturous acts, but, there days where I feel like I would lose control and just kill in the most horrible fashion. Yes, I am one very disturbed young woman. But I love things that dwell in the shadows. From a young age, I was taught to never fear what hides in the dark. I was taught that you learn to respect the creatures that dwell in the dark, they will leave you alone. But for me, I learn how to find those creatures and how to become their friend. I can dance with the ghosts of day long since forgotten, and call upon magic older than Mother Earth herself. Yes, I am insane. But I don’t suffer from my insanity, I embrace it fully.
   
       It is with this truth that keeps me from going on a murderous rampage. It’s the clarity I need to prevent me from slitting my wrists and just bleed out, waiting for Death to take me beyond this mortal gate. I am truly disturbed. But that is what makes me the writer that I am today. That is how I am able to write about the nightmares that for me are the dreams I dream every single night. “Normal” people fear the reaper. I accept the reaper. I do not fear the dark because I know what lives there. And that to me is the most beautiful thing in this realm.